A Girls Honesty

For the purpose of this story, I will name my boyfriend “John.” When John and I first got together, I prayed that famous prayer: “God, if he is not for me, remove him from my life. And as we all know, the Lord does not take long to answer that prayer. However, we were together for almost two years, and the Lord had not answered me. One night, I said, “Father, you haven’t given me a yes or no to my relationship with John, and I would like to know if you approve of our relationship.” That night, I dreamt that John and I were at the hospital with a newborn baby. The following morning, I woke up with a smile and thanked the Lord for answering my prayer. I was happy that I finally had an answer, but it wasn’t long before things would change.

Before John and I broke up, I was spending my daily morning with God, and he told me something big was coming and that I needed to be ready for it. I was reading Psalm 16, and the verses that stood out to me were 16:5: “Lord, you alone are my portion and my cup; you make my lot secure” and 16:11: “You make known to me the path of life…” During my interpretation of scripture, I felt God saying that He knows everything that has happened, is happening, and will happen in my lifetime. However, I also felt the Lord saying that I needed to be ready for this new chapter in my life. I felt a soft “don’t give up” and “don’t lose sight of Me.” I was really nervous when He told me this because I didn’t know what to expect.

When the relationship ended, I was perplexed. I could not understand how or why. I was not upset with God, but I was questionable because He had just given me the okay. The day we officially decided to end the relationship, I prepared myself to tell him all the things he could have done better, but when I was in front of him, the Spirit kept me quiet. I did not have a word to say, and very softly did I feel Him say, “Shh.”

I was driving home from work one day, and as I pulled onto my driveway, I was talking to God and said, “I don’t understand. I did everything I could have done to make You the foundation of our relationship. We went to church together, we prayed together, and I asked you to change me so that I could have been an example to follow. I don’t understand why you took him.” To which the Lord responded, “There was nothing you could have done differently to keep him because it was my decision to remove him.” After that, I couldn’t really argue with Him. However, knowing I wasn’t the problem gave me peace. Our relationship had ended because God needed it to end. Come to find out, God needed that time for John’s character development. When we got back together, John told me how much he would pray for guidance. But if it hadn’t been for God intervening, he would not have understood the love I was asking of him.

I hesitated to enter the relationship again, but the Lord responded with Psalm 45. King David was talking to his daughter on her wedding day. She was hesitant and nervous about moving out of her father’s house and into her husband’s. But David tells her not to look back and to allow her husband to honor her. Since John and I got back together, our relationship has been at peace.

The moral of my super long story is to trust and honor God!