A Girls Honesty

Lately, it seems like I can’t talk without offending someone. Not that I intend to offend anyone, but life has made me feel so defeated. Those around me either take what I say wrong or they take what I say out of context. To clarify, I don’t say things that shouldn’t be said, nor do I speak with malicious intent; however, sometimes, I do have my own opinion of certain situations. Well, let me tell you, people do not like it when you think differently than them. And people especially don’t like it when you don’t feed into their deranged way of thinking. I have learned that you should never take things personally because whatever someone is going through will alter their perspective.

Life has really been weighing me down. I haven’t been speaking to my sisters lately because they are part of the reason I feel like I am not allowed to speak, and if I do, I have to be careful not to use language that can be interpreted as judgmental. I must be careful not to sound like I am better than anyone. I have to ensure that what I say does not alter the conversation to be all about me. Now, should people take these things into consideration when they talk? Absolutely! I look at people in my life and see how they talk about a particular situation, and sometimes I may agree with certain things they say, and sometimes I think they are absolutely wrong.

Example. My nephew’s birthday. My partner and I went over to my sister’s house to celebrate. (Let’s name this sister Ava) I told my nephew how proud I am of the man he’s becoming, and as a joke, I told him how he gets his good looks from me because “I’m his mom.” Ava’s wife heard me and said, “We’re not starting this bull s*** again.” That may not seem aggressive, but I don’t curse at my family when I speak. It may come out when I am talking about a subject, but I don’t curse directly at them. Language is a way of dictating how someone will receive you; therefore, I don’t curse directly at someone I care about. At that point, I started to feel like I was walking on eggshells. A little after this instant, my other sister’s hypocrisy kicked in. (Let’s name her Aria) Side note: Aria is dating a man with two daughters who are not hers. Ava, who is hosting the party, has dogs, so when my boyfriend sat on the couch, I sat on his lap. Not grinding on him, not making out with him, and not making a rated R scene, I only sat on his lap because the dog hair was everywhere. Ava has two couches perpendicular to one another, and Aria, with the two stepdaughters, says…

“The girls are watching you; they watch everything you are doing.”

To which I respond: “What are you talking about?”

Aria: “You sitting on him; they see everything you are doing.”

I look at her in confusion. THEN her man chimes in and says, “They observe everything that’s happening even though it doesn’t seem like they are.”

Mind you, this man drove his daughters home under the influence of WEED & ALCOHOL. I won’t lie; I was baffled. Is me sitting on my boyfriend’s lap, minding my business, going to influence how your girls grow up? No. But you know what, he was right; kids are very observant. So they are watching you drink and drive. They are watching you drive under the influence of whatever the hell you decided to drive under.

This was just the cherry on top of all our arguments, and I decided to take a break from the hangouts and the phone calls. You tell me, am I the problem?